Goshujin Piece

It Was Quiet...
Something was Fishy

It started out quietly enough that day. So quiet, in fact, that it was just like one of those days where it’s quiet right before something odd happens. The masters were out of the house, accompanied by Morie-chan, on a visit to the main household. Around lunchtime, Cream-chan was out riding around on her scooter, Terumi-chan was napping (as she is prone to do), and Siobahn-san was making herself a sandwich in the kitchen. Hideyo-san and Kazue-chan, oddly enough, had not been seen all day.

Terumi-chan reached a state of near-awakeness and stumbled into the kitchen looking for cookies. Failing that, and remarkably not mistaking Siobahn-san or Mitsue-chan as cookies, she settled for a large container of milk and stumbled away like a drunk with a bottle of booze. She returned a few minutes later with the nearly empty milk container, returned it, then rushed to the bathroom. Siobahn-san and Mitsue-chan largely ignored her, as they were used to her antics by now, and continued their small talk (while Siobahn-san worked at her sandwich).

But lunch is interrupted by an inevitable muffled explosion in the direction of the north wing. Siobahn-san leads the expedition to the northern wing to discover the source of the noise, carrying with her 1/3 of a sandwich and accompanied by Mitsue-chan and Terumi-chan, whom stay far enough back to use Siobahn-san as a shield. Arriving at the north wing, nothing is obviously out of place. Siobahn-san and Mitsue-chan call out to the quiet corridor, and in response hear some strangely muffled voices coming from the direction of the maid bedrooms.

The evidence so far is suspicious: Hideyo-san and Kazue-chan are talking in very muffled voices inside their room, there is some sort of liquid seeping into the carpet from the bottom of the doorway, a slight fishy smell, and the door doesn’t sound right when Siobahn-san knocks on it. The door is unlocked, so Siobahn-san opens the door…

... And finds herself staring at a room filled almost to the top with purple, jell-o like fluid. Terumi-chan dives right in, just as the liquid starts flowing out of the room and into the hallway. Siobahn-san fights bravely to save the last few bites of her sandwich, but it is all in vain as Hideyo-san, carried by the flow of the purple substance, crashes into Siobahn-san’s legs.

As the deluge subsides, the maids start recollecting themselves. Mitsue-chan discovers the sticky liquid which smells like fish also has the strange ability to prevent her teleportation from working. It was at that moment Cream-chan returned from her ride, still dressed in her very tight riding suit. Taking command of the purple, sticky maids, she quickly rooted out what happened. Hideyo-san and Kazue-chan had been trying to recreate a powerful cleaner from homemade chemicals, but apparently their recipe was incorrect. From the sound of it, the problem centered around the same sort of chemicals Cream-chan herself had accidentally used several weeks prior to this event.

The six quickly clean the hallway, so that nobody would be able to tell anything out of the ordinary happened. Siobahn-san, Mitsue-chan, and Terumi-chan go to wash up while Cream-chan supervises Hideyo-san and Kazue-chan as they clean their room. Hideyo-san seemed keen to try the recipe again, but Cream-chan overruled.

The masters returned later that evening, smelled fish, and were promptly treated to a fish supper.

Grin and Bare It
Maids bare with it

The day started like any other. Unless you count several of the maids waking up to discover their panties were missing. This discovery was followed by several minutes of confusion and anxiety by the maids as they briefly searched for their lost undergarments. Terumi-chan went to ask Cream-chan if she knew where they were, and got roped into helping her change after her morning bike ride. Oddly, Cream-chan apparently had not had her underwear stolen, and she had begun wondering about it when new maid to the house Kazue-chan walks in and is elected to fasten Cream-chan’s buckles. After complying, and subsequent teasing, Kazue-chan runs out of the room, with her face bright red.

Meanwhile, Mitsue-chan had been checking on the laundry, hoping someone had just taken her unmentionables to be washed, but to no success. After giving up, the maids head to the kitchen, where Siobahn-san and newcomer Hideyo-san had already started preparing breakfast. It was difficult to tell if Hideyo-san had lost her belongings, as the maids were still getting used to her, but it became obvious Siobahn-san had likely lost hers because of her seemingly foul, quiet mood.

Due to overcrowding, Mitsue-chan and Cream-chan volunteer to set the table, and spend the time conspiring to check Nasu-sama’s room for the missing possessions. It’s unlikely he’d do such a thing, since he’s a bit of a wuss, but he is the only male in the house. But if it’s not him, the only other suspects would be the new maids, and would likely be searched next.

During breakfast, it becomes apparent that even the mighty Morie-chan had her pantsu stolen. Nakae-sama revealed her possessions were taken as well, but seemed unperturbed since she assumed it was Nasu-sama anyway. Mitsue-chan takes the opportunity to excuse herself to the bathroom (even though vampires have no use for such things), and instead used her teleportation abilities to reach and search Nasu-sama’s room. However, the only things she finds are a few ‘books’ that Nasu-sama took great pains to hide.

Returning to the dining room, Mitsue-chan guiltily confesses searching Nasu-sama’s room. Plans are made to search the rest of the house, but Siobahn-chan is oddly quiet and depressed. Apparently, she was deeply saddened by the fact no one had mentioned how good her cooking was that morning, despite it was the first time she’d ever done so well. But a quick word of encouragement from Nakae-sama was enough to pull her out of that slump.

Before the search can begin, Cream-chan notices a strange man hanging upside down from a rope outside the window. He quickly pulls himself up to the roof, and Mitsue-chan teleports to give chase. But this intruder is elusive, and a chase proceeds throughout the entire mansion (and some of the back yard). Highlights of the chase include Siobahn-chan leaping from the upstairs stairway to try and catch the man (but fails miserably and falls on her face), Cream-chan trying to copy the man’s impressive superhuman abilities by leaping the entire length of the pool in a single bound (she falls in and ends up sopping wet), and Terumi-chan throwing an impressively aimed shoe right into the man’s face from the other side of the mansion.

The chase is brought to an end in the game room where, the maids (minus Cream-chan and Kazue-chan, the latter being dragged along to help the former change into dry clothing) confront the perverted butler and his equally perverted master, who turns out to be Nakae-sama’s older brother, Ujie Hirataka-sama. There, the maids listen to a conversation between the masters revealing many key bits of information regarding how Nasu-sama came to inherit the family business.

Orange Cream's diary for June 26, 2010

Morning exercise: stretches, yoga (60 min. hatha, 30 min. kundalini), 2 klick run (had to carry Terumi-chan for most of it again).

Mitsue-chan’s skirt tucked into panties this morning. Looked uncomfortable to me; just don’t understand modern fashion. Made streusel for coffee cake upon getting back. Terumi-chan baked coffee cake while mostly asleep, but did v. well. Siobahn-san and Mitsue-chan cooked breakfast with no mishaps. Almost eerie. V. impressive improvement on their parts. Nakae-sama alerted us that with Nasu permanent part of the household, two more maids were being sent to the mansion and would arrive today.

(As noted above, Terumi-chan continues to fall asleep constantly. She is surprisingly functional when technically unconscious, but her ability to fall asleep during and sleep through things like cardio exercise and cooking is becoming worrisome. Should probably seek medical attention for her soon; not sure Ujie family benefits would cover it, but if not I will pay for it.)

While washing breakfast dishes, three yankees entered the kitchen; said they wanted to “pummel” Nasu. Sympathized, but not allowed to allow that, even if it is Nasu. Escorted two out the door despite some attempt at passive resistance on their part. Terumi-chan cunningly lured the third out with cookies. Came back in and started cleaning out yankee infestation, starting with four on upstairs overlook into foyer – offered less resistance than JEDF training dummies, but first time sparring in two years felt good. Terumi-chan and I found Nasu and other maids in office (Morie-san guarding Nakae-sama in secret passages), split up mansion, cleaned out yankees. Told they were Nasu’s old gang. Figures.

Afterward, was having celebratory cookie in foyer when noticed new maids Hideyo-chan (chain bracelet, clinking luggage) and Kazue-chan (hair ribbon and glasses) standing in door. Perhaps not best introduction to mansion. (Heard Hideyo-chan mention something about whipping cream after our introduction; ask about that?) (Friendliness note: Kazue-chan… overdeveloped. Offer to loan leathers for figure control?)

Fluffy Monkeys for Tea
Dear Diary-sama,

I had fluffy monkey dreams again, the kind with the polka dot bonets and silver sneakers. I think they followed me from the last dream with the tasty, singing cookies. I think I’ve seen them before that, but it’s cloudy. Not outside though, it’s sunny today.That reminds me; I need to go home next weekend and see if my parents sold my bunny slippers. It gets cold here at night. The fluffy monkeys warned me Cream-san was coming early this morning, but I didn’t believe them. Reminder to self: Listen to the fluffy monkeys. Cream-san came early, but I couldn’t hear her, so I tried to roll over, but she stood over me and was yelling something about laps. For some reason that reminded me of running barefoot around the house in my Sailor Moon pajamas. Maybe that’s where the tear came from? I thought that was just a dream…another question for those know-it-all monkeys.

I made something for breakfast. Pancakes, yummy. I put syrup and sprinkles on Nakae-sama’s, but not too much, because she just likes them “moist”. But she got mad at me when I brought them because she wanted them like Nasu’s. Nasu-san covered his in more syrup than I use, and then he poured table sugar on it again. Well, he thought it was table sugar. I made sure to put the salt near him, blaming it on Mitsue since she brought in that. It wasn’t terribly hard, but I feel kind of bad for the salt. It deserves to be eaten by a better person. He talks to me like I’m a little kid. Reminder: add vinegar to his wash this afternoon.

Good afternoon Diary-sama,

I didn’t get a chance to write earlier because these crazy people came and tried to kidnap Nasu-san, I think. Maybe he’s the chosen one of prophecy, or a frog prince, but backwards. They set up this playground in the yard with lots of water. I thought maybe we could go swimming, but I don’t know how to swim, so I thought maybe I’d go take a nap in the trophy room sofa again, but Cream-san wouldn’t let me. They wanted me to compete in some contest where Nasu-san is the prize. I tried to give up, but they didn’t let me. I don’t know why anyone cares about Nasu-san anyway.

I got to cheer lead for a few minutes while Cream-san and Siobahn-san played in the playground. It was a lot of fun, but then they put me on this platform and these crazy girls with swords were like “prepare to die!” and I got scared. I don’t really remember what happened after that so much, but I think we had tea. I had milk tea with extra sugar, Mitsue had jasmine tea with honey. I think the crazy girls with the swords had some too, and then we all went for a swim. Mitsue was upset about them joining us, because she left real quick. Oh I forgot! That girl with the thin sword licked me at some point. Maybe she thought I was a cookie? I’ve made that mistake before when I tried to eat Cream-san two mornings ago.

I think I’m going to make cookies tonight so this mistake doesn’t happen again. I’ll make some for everyone, except Nasu. I’ll make some pudding for him and drip it slowly through the vent over his bed. I forgot to tell you… I found that the vent is closest to the one in the upstairs bath. All I have to do is get a tube and I think I can drop some on his head. If Nakae-sama thinks he’s cake, do you think she will eat him? Maybe I can have some cake, too. Oh, that sound delicious! Off to make a cake! Bye! ;3

Oh I forgot! I have to make a double batch for Cream-san! I heart Cream-san!

Nikki Terumi

Diary of Siobahn, an excerpt

The heir of the Ujie family has disappeared and nobody even so much as bats an eye. Instead of talking about finding him, they’re talking about replacing him. Replacing him with a boy who, as near as I can tell, has not had half the upbringing even I have. Nasu-sama doesn’t even have a coat. Am I the only one who finds all this strange?

Tameno-sama and Nakae-sama decided to fight over who gets to “keep” him. I feel sorry for Nasu-sama; I don’t expect him to stand for this kind of treatment for very long. Maybe he’ll up and vanish again.

Still, Master’s order are Master’s orders, and when asked to rise to an occasion, we must obey. I put all our eggs in one basket when I assigned Cream-san and myself to the obstacle course, opting to hope for the best when I put Mitsue-san and Terumi-san on the Combat Team.

I have never said I was the most fit of maids, but I do believe I did very well. We made it through the obstacles all in good time, finishing most of them first with plenty of time to spare. I did a fine job cooking, and a downright spectacular job on the cleaning and mending. We aced the so-called “obstacle” course with an overall score of about 3 to 1. I’m not entirely sure Tameno-sama’s people could be considered maids.

I’m just crossing my fingers that tomorrow goes well enough for Mitsue-san and Terumi-san. We’re in a huge lead, and the competition didn’t seem particularly competant, but anything can happen, really.

Crisis in the Mansion!

At last, on the day after her arrival, Tameno-sama reveals her reason for her visit: She is here to take Nasu-san away to train him to be the next leader of the Ujie family business! Apparently, Tameno-sama and Nakae-sama’s older brother had gone missing…

As such, the family needs a replacement, which would have been Tameno-sama. Unfortunately, she doesn’t really want the responsibility, so she needed to find a blood relative older than her. There was only one candidate: Nasu-sama.

Needless to say, Nakae-sama is distressed over possibly losing her beloved Onii-sama. So, they decide to hold a contest. A contest to determine which sisters’ maids are more suited to serve Nasu-sama.

The first event is an obstacle course featuring both water hazards and tasks common to what maids are expected to do. The Nakae-team consisted of Orange Cream-chan and Siobahn-chan. Facing off against the Tameno-team of Kuonji Shinra-san and Kuki Ageha-san, the Nakae-team fell behind right from the start with Siobahn-chan immediately falling into the water in the very first obstacle.

But, the Nakae-team was able to catch up, and even surpass the Tameno-team. Even with Siobahn-chan’s constant falling into the water hazards, and even dragging Cream-chan in at one point, they stayed ahead and finished with a very comfortable lead.

So the first event went to the Nakae-team, but the next event would be a ‘bodyguard battle’. Both Nikki Terumi-chan and Hara Mitsue-chan would face Shinra-san and Ageha-san in a free for all… Do they stand a chance?

—To be Continued!

Updated Character Sheet: Nasu Yasutsune

An entry from Mitsue's Diary
What a day!


I got permission again this morning to read some more cookbooks. I think I have a much better idea how to make a tasty meal. Now it’s time to put my new knowledge to good use. Today I KNOW I can make Tempura and everyone will love it.


Wow. What a day. First I did my best making Tempura. I know I followed the recipe. The ingredients were correct. The measurements were perfect. I added them in the correct order. Everything was perfect.

I forgot about the temperature. I guess I had too high a flame. The whole thing started to smoke and turn black. I tried to get it into the sink before anyone noticed. But I ended up having to wash the dishes as punishment.

Goshujin-sama and Morie-san arrived just as lunch was ready. That’s when we found out that our newest guest, Yasutsune-sama, was missing. Immediately, everyone fanned out throughout the house to find him. As soon as I finished the dishes, I teleported into the Billiard Room, but he wasn’t there. Morie-san was, though. I think I startled her by suddenly appearing near her. I will have to try not to scare people like that. But…

Then I realized I kinda smelled like smoke, from the Tempura. I thought that I would take a quick shower and change while everyone was busy. Just as I got my clothes off, in comes Terumi-san. I was so startled, it took me a few seconds before I grabbed a towel. She commented on my paleness. She seemed a bit sleepy. I hope she didn’t get a very good look at me.

After giving up on the shower, I teleported downstairs to the Living Room. Yasutsune-sama wasn’t there, but when I called out to him, I heard someone’s voice from the Entryway. When I walked in there, I saw him. He asked what was going on. I didn’t answer him directly. But as I answered him, I got closer to him. I was told to grab and hold him, so I was going to try. I’m not very strong, but I thought I could at least slow him down. Just as I was about to grab him, Goshujin-sama and Morie-san arrived. Goshujin-sama said “Grab him!”. Morie-san had grabbed him before I could even react. I grabbed him too. Then the other maids arrived and everyone pretty much jumped on him. I kinda felt sorry for him.

Just as we realized that he wasn’t going to be able to run off, the front doors flew open and four more ladies arrived.

I think the sight of five girls on top of one guy was amusing to them. One of them spoke up saying “That looks like fun”. I haven’t been that embarrassed since… well, since Terumi-san walked in on me in the bathroom.

-Hara Mitsue

Feb 26 2010

Morning exercise: stretches, 50 jumping jacks, 20 chin-ups, 4 klick run – short run today so wouldn’t be gone too long with that yankee Nasu in the mansion.

Waking up Terumi-chan getting harder. Her memory of pajama laps must be fading; should consider doing again. (Friendliness note: be ready with warm fluffy towel for when she finishes.) Made pecan-marshmallow sweet rolls for Morie-san in exchange for her waking Nakae-sama. Should have done it myself, but still not sure what to do with little kids. Nakae-sama woke up Nasu, though I gather she had trouble getting into his room.

Mitsue-chan still hasn’t developed basic maid skills and badly burned the rice she tried to fry; made her wash the dishes before she could eat. Nasu seemed unhappy with the selection at breakfast, or lack thereof. OH NOES.

Captain Whiskers-sama knocked over some of my chemicals while I was cleaning the stain in the bathroom Siobahn-san mentioned. Saw them start to bubble, grabbed the neko-sama, and ran out too quickly to see which chemicals mixed, but they seem to have done the trick. Everything’s squeaky-clean as one of my uniforms in there.

Mitsue-chan seems to have damaged the floor in the front hall somehow. Made mental note to fix tomorrow. (Friendliness note: Way to work with Mitsue-chan on skills nicely?) Maybe thought too much about it – didn’t remember to wash cleaning chemicals from hands before lunch, made v. shiny salad. Not mentioned, but salad uneaten and Nakae-sama visibly displeased. (Making salad checklist?)

Nakae-sama, Morie-san, and yankee running around house again. Going to ride scooter or swim laps before dinner.

- Orange Cream

Unexpected Guest
A morning like any other...

When it’s time to get the day started, Head Maid Siobahn-chan orders the other three to start making breakfast while she wakes up Master Nakae-sama. Unfortunately, Nikki Terumi-chan is still asleep, as she usually is, forcing Orange Cream-chan to ‘gently’ wake her up… with threats she didn’t have to act on, thankfully.

Once they’re finally in the kitchen, the three begin preparations for breakfast: Miso, Pan-fried Turkey Pizza-ghetti with Garlic Bread, and Pecan-Marshmallow Sweet Rolls for dessert. The miso and sweet rolls turns out very well, but the rest… not so much. When it starts emitting noxious fumes, Terumi-chan helpfully whips up a fruit and vegetable dish as a replacement, despite Hara Mitsue (原 光重)-chan’s insistence that it’s still good.

Siobahn-chan successfully wakes Nakae-sama with a song, helps her dress appropriately, and heads down to breakfast. Other than the smell of burnt turkey, Nakae-sama doesn’t suspect a thing went wrong with breakfast. Work goes smoothly that morning, with Terumi-chan keeping Nakae-sama company playing videogames in the game room. Cream-chan’s martial-arts weeding in the garden is especially entertaining to watch.

With Lunch rolling around, the maids head for the kitchen. Foie Gras and Smoked Salmon on mini-toasts, Tofu-Tuna-Veggie Kabobs, Corned Beef Hash, and Sticky Toffee Pudding for dessert is on the menu. Nakae-sama is lured by the smell of food, and arrives just as lunch is finished being prepared. Nothing particularly interesting happens during lunch, and time for afternoon work rolls around.

Nakae-sama takes a walk in the garden with the vampire Mitsue-chan (who uses an umbrella to keep the sun off of her), while the others begin work. Other than Siobahn-chan attempting to clean mold off the tiles in the bathrooms with oven cleaner, nothing disastrous happens, and dinner quickly rolls around.

Mitsue-chan, frustrated with her lack of cooking skills in the previous meals, throws caution to the wind and starts cooking up a pot of what she call “Mitsue Surprise.” To go along with it is Grilled Eel, Sauteed Vegetables, and Creme Brulee. Siobahn-chan winds up burning the hell out of the vegetables. Cream-chan helps salvage the vegetables while she berates Siobahn-chan for screwing up so badly, much to Siobahn-chan’s delight. Nakae-sama, once again allured by the smell of food, enters the kitchen during Siobahn-chan’s waves of ecstasy. Deciding she must be interrupting something, she heads for the dining room.

Dinner goes without a hitch, the vegetables are even salvaged enough that she didn’t notice they were originally burnt. After dinner, Cream-chan and Terumi-chan go to help Nakae-sama take a bath, while the other two clean the dishes. But, while Nakae-sama and her two helpers are naked (with wisps of steam to cover anything inappropriate for viewers), there is a loud clatter back in the main entrance hall! The master suddenly leaps up, grabs a towel to wrap around herself, and runs out of the bathroom, with the two maids (also in towels) in hot pursuit!

Siobahn-chan and Mitsue-chan are the first to arrive, and find the butler, Itakura Morie-chan, has at last returned to the mansion… carrying a large wooden box that looks not unlike a coffin with something inside causing a racket. Opening up the box, an orange-haired delinquent comes tumbling out. His first view is the upper floor, staring up at the two maids wrapped only in towels and getting a look of something he probably shouldn’t see. But before he can be properly pounded, Nakae-sama throws herself into the guy’s arms while yelling, “Onii-sama!”

After everyone changes back into proper clothing, Nakae-sama introduces the newcomer as her cousin: Nasu Yasutsune. She seems to have quite an affection for him…

New Character Added: Nasu Yasutsune
Updated Character: Ujie Nakae, Itakura Morie
Updated Pages: Favor Scoreboard, Stress Scoreboard


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